Belinda Blinked Book reviews.
Rocky Flintstone; Author.

Reviews!

Hi! Belinda Blumenthal here again and this is the page where you can read what some of you think about Belinda Blinked. Why not let me know your thoughts?

A modern classic.

"Jane Austin, Mother Teresa, Rosa Parks - all great women, but not a patch on Belinda Blumenthal. This book is a 1 stop shop for all women aspiring in the business world."

Thanks Nathan Nicholls, it's great to be in good company! xxx

A mind for business, a body for sin.

"My lids fluttered and I spasmed often. Great read."

Thanks Siobhan, I have this affliction as well... xxx

Love Belinda, Love Flintstone.

"Flintstone dares to wander to the forbidden zones of every man's fantasy, Toy handcuffs. Serious marketing decisions and more!"

Erotic fantasy at it's besy! Love Belinda, Love Flintstone!

Thanks, Ian Dixon, I think there's more forbidden zones coming soon! xxx

Wonderful, apart from the irresponsible trellis use.

"After one of my salespeople left a copy in the lunch room, I've noticed a disturbing uptick in trellis-related injuries among the staff. I can't prove it's down to this book of course, but I think the figures speak for themselves.

Rocky Flintstone should be doing more to promote responsible and splinter-free trellis use - not just for the safety of trellis salespeople but for our customers too.

Other than that, Belinda Blinked is a masterful retelling of that age-old tale of the pots-and-pans saleswoman-cum-dominatrix, and I heartily recommend it."

Thanks Howard Y, your splinter is duely noted and recorded in the accident book. xxx

Important contribution to current business and leadership discourse.

"Would recommend for CEOs and executives from all multinational and FTSE100 companies. I used to find it difficult to make an impact in business. But after reading Mr R Flintstone's book I have a new perspective. Belinda Blinked is an exceptional and instructive step-by-step guide to getting ahead in sales. Mr Flintstone's use of analogy, simile and metaphor to bring to life key business models and sales techniques is a masterstroke.

A few examples:

1. A high stakes tombola appears to be a simple metaphor for a difficult sales pitch. Very clever concept - showing that even if you don't beat the competition on the day, you can still win with a bit of hard graft.

2. It's pretty clear that the fable of the 'young-ish man' is analogous of bringing new products through fledgling years into new markets. Cleverly the reader only becomes familiar with the young-ish man's name in later chapters, clearly suggestive of the hard work required to establish a new product as a household name.

3. The rivets from the Titanic are exampled as brilliant products, successfully made and sold in the highly competitive construction markets of the early 1900s. Mr Flintstone's point? That you can still win at sales despite the macro project (an unsinkable ship) failing.

4. Some things will always be in demand: We business novices think first of housing, food or communication networks. But Mr Flintstone uses his business experience to point us towards lesser traded commodities (black thongs, horse boxes etc.).

Also, I now understand that 'sex' and 'sexy' are totally unrelated."

Thanks, I'm sorry we don't have your name, but this review is so enlightening... at which University/Think tank do you work? Belinda xxx

Turkey and Cervix.

"I've always looked for erotic fiction which combines my love of turkey sandwiches, chilean wine and cervix fondling. An astounding novel. Well done Rocky Flintstone. You have made the world a better place."

Thanks David Trew, we all love a good sandwich! xxx

A nearly perfect book tarnished by a bit of xenophobia.

"A nearly perfect book tarnished by a bit of xenophobia. I understand that there might still be a bit of bad blood between Britain and its former colony the good ol' US of A but did Rocky really have to give the American character a micropenis? American cocks deserve respect too.

Other than that brief moment in which my patriotism got the best of me I found this book to be an erotic masterpiece.

If you love tits this book is for you."

Thanks Robert Margesson, Jim does try to make a stand of it in a later book.....!! xxx

Titillating tale of intrigue and cookware.

"A literary masterpiece!

If you are a fan of pomegranates and leather this book is for you. Offers deep insights into the lives of salesmen who ply their trade in the hot and saucy pots and pans industry. Belinda, as a new world wide sales director for a pots and pans company, has many experiences such as:

The thorough interview process involved in sales,

a Belgian department store magnate gives a good "tip" to securing business relationships "deep" within the "hedges" and among the benches of a maze,

and a revealing look at Belinda's coercive sales tactics.

.... and tits." Thanks Tony (MD), it's all your fault, yes it really is! xxx

It is the work of a literary giant...

"Thanks to this book, I will never see pomegranates in the same way again. It is the work of a literary giant that has made me deeply regret not being brave enough to venture in to the cut-throat (and poor continuity) world of pots and pans sales."

Thanks, I'm sorry we don't have your name, but I think we'd better not tell Rocky he's any sort of a giant, never mind literary.....!! xxx

We are now all on a final warning from HR but our sales figures are great!

"I made this compulsory reading for my entire sales team. We are now all on a final warning from HR but our sales figures are great."

Thanks, I'm sorry we don't have your name, but I can put in a good word for you with Tony... if that helps? xxx

Tombola and tit.

"Politically, grammatically, temporally and biologically incorrect in every way; "Belinda Blinked" is an action-packed mud orgy of a read!!

It's all played out in the high-pressure, glitzy, glamorous, cut and thrust (with the emphasis on "thrust") world of the pots and pans business. Apart from Chapter 3, it's a fast-paced adventure that's oozing with luxurious locations: e.g. the Leather Room, the Heathrow Pentra Hotel, a medium-sized maze in the middle of nowhere, a horse box, a chalet and the now legendary "Horse and Jockey". It's a world where the seemingly insatiable, inexhaustible and perpetually naked (or just about to be) Belinda indulges in a hedonistic whirlwind of gin-fuelled sex and cervical trauma.

The highlight of the book for me was the high-stakes tombola! Rocky's first winner!"

Thanks Jim Stirling and WOW I thought Rocky used some big words in his writing...Do I know you? xxx

Modern classic (sort of),

"A thrilling ride through the erotic and exciting world of the 'Pots and Pans' industry, as well as a comprehensive guide to modern sex and the female anatomy. Rocky Flintstone is a literary genius. MUST READ"

Thanks, I'm sorry we don't have your name, but I assure you we will not be publishing Rocky's comprehensive guide to the female anatomy anytime soon! xxx

Made better only by the accompaniment of the "My Dad Wrote ...

"Ignoring the minor spelling and continuity errors, and occasional times where things just don't make sense, this is a hilarious read, made better only by the accompaniment of the "My Dad Wrote a Porno" podcast, with which you can read along.

Great book, would definitely recommend if I were the sort of person to recommend books like this."

Thanks, I'm sorry we don't have your name, I really do know how you feel, I personally don't read this sort of thing! xxx

This book changed my life.

"If you live in a fast-paced cut-throat industry (like pots and pans), you've got no time for a plot. This book is perfect for you. Dip in and out and in and out as you please, as it doesn't matter where you start or finish.

This book will change the way you think about sex and make you look at the female anatomy in a whole new light."

Thanks, I'm sorry we don't have your name, but I'm all for dipping... or is it dripping? xxx

Five Stars

"Makes you aspire to grab a cervix, sell some kitchenware and take chivalry lessons... I think."

Thanks B L J Brandon, aspiration is what it's all about in sales! xxx

A must read for those hoping to break into the ...

"A must read for those hoping to break into the pots and pans industry or anyone who has interests in medium size mazes.

No other book could offer such a broad yet detailed insight into these two minefields."

Thanks Lucy, I've always found mazes demanding! xxx

Five Stars

"Now I'm CEO. THANK YOU BELINDA"

Thanks R Angus... got any jobs? xxx

Brillant!

"Absolutely hilarious! I love Rocky and Belinda and can't wait to start on BB2 alongside the podcast."

Thanks Miyo, we'll be rockin' along pretty soon! xxx

More of the same!

"Need more, love the book. Puts a huge smile on my cervix lol go Rocky."

Thanks C Thompson, I'm smiling too, so's Rocky! xxx

Enjoy!

"Insightive foray into Titanic engineering, spot fixing tombolos and anatomical percularities. Enjoy!"

Thanks LMJ333, are you into boats as well? xxx

Watch out for parcel string!

"A wonderful celebration of how dynamic organisations are placing women as their front running sales leaders when faced with selling uninspiring wares in a fickle market."

Thanks Abrar Ahmed, the new Oxy Brillo range will change all this! xxx

Belinda, pomegranates and voles! Awesome!

"A small piece of genius!" Thanks Sarah, we all like small things.... or do we Jim? xxx

Five Stars.

"Pots and pans, or rivets and pomegranates, this book has it all."

Thanks, Tony Evans! xxx

Five Stars

"An erotic masterpiece. This novella is a Rochelle, Rochelle for the millenials."

Thanks Stu L! xxx

Oh wow Rocky what can be said for you.

"Oh wow Rocky what can be said for you. I would Suggest Billie Piper (Call Girl Time) to play Belinda."

Thanks, Paul Jones, you mean Billie, Belinda Piper! xxx

Here's a link to that wonderful podcast, mmerch, live show dates by those media types... even Rocky's bio....

My Dad Wrote A Porno

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